Should We Do Long Distance?

I’ve been with my bf for 2 yrs but now he’s going to college (Imma junior right now). He decided to go to a school in another state so we’re only gonna see each other at Thxgiving and Christmas. I know we can talk online but I hate even thinking about it. Im happy for him and love him and he wants to do long distance but Im honestly not sure if I can handle it. I dont want the drama and whats the point if ur never really together in the same place? Its one thing if we could see eachother more but we wont be able to. We are already fighting alot about it and its stressing me out. My friends say we’re gonna be fine but I think they’re sayin that cuz they have to.

What do you think? Should we just break up or should I make this work?

-NotSoSure

Dear NotSoSure,

I think you’re hoping I’ll say you should break up with him since no one in your life is telling you that that would be okay to do. You’re rightfully unsure. It’s a big commitment.

If you aren’t 100% into trying to make it work long distance, then there’s no way it will. Even if you are, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve had both experiences. In one case, it blew up in my face and was as dramatic as a telenovela.

telenovela slap

In another case with a completely different person, we had to do long distance from different states for a year and now 3 years later we are going strong and engaged. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard and I hated the distance but it helped that we had both been through a few different serious relationships and both knew how hard LDRs are.

long distance love

I’m not saying your relationship is going to turn into my worst or best case scenario. Every relationship is different. A long-distance relationship can bring people together (if they’re really committed to making it work and are good communicators), but it can also magnify issues in the relationship–some of which can’t be overcome, or it’s just too much to deal with at certain times in life. Sometimes even for the most dedicated couples it puts too much of a strain on one person or both.

I’m sorry I can’t give you a clear cut solution. I’m not a pessimist nor am I cheerleader when it comes to this because there’s so much gray area involved. Decide what is best for you and for each other and trust your instincts. Nobody knows the relationship like you do.

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