School started last week and I had this really embarrassing thing happen to me…I walked into the main bldg with toilet paper stuck to my shoe!!! I saw my friends right away and they all pointed and laughed at me. There were a few other ppl there too. I ran to the bathroom and then they came in and said it was fine. I asked them to please not talk about it so I could forget about it. There’s one main girl who texted our other friends about it after she said with the others that she wouldn’t tell anyone else. She even told my crush (and she knows I like him). Every time she brings it up the others laugh but then say sorry. I keep telling her to knock it off cuz its soooo annoying but she says she’s just joking around and its no big deal. How can I get her to shut up about it? I can’t get over this until she does. I know it’s mean, but she makes me want to do something embarrassing to her so that she’ll shut up about it already. Any ideas?
-Forever the TP Girl
Dear Forever the TP Girl,
First off, back away from your revenge list and put the duct tape down. I get that you may want to tape your friend’s mouth shut or embarrass her so that she knows how it feels to be in your shoes, but the only way you can really move forward is by confronting her and letting it go, with or without her help.
I’m sorry that you had to go through that moment, but we’ve all been embarrassed in some way, and if someone like your friend hasn’t yet, she will. Trust me. What goes around comes back around as Justin Timberlake (and more eloquently as the idea of karma) says. I’m sure you’ve also realized that your embarrassing moment could have been so much worse. The toilet paper could’ve been coming out of your pants, or it could’ve been a seat cover. Even worse: your friends could’ve kept quiet about it, forcing you to walk down the halls and in and out of classes all day while people laughed about it behind your back. Instead, they minimized the damage. It still sounds like a crappy situation—maybe “crappy” isn’t the best way to put it. But it helps to know how to laugh at yourself. I personally find it helps to replay my embarrassing moments as if I was watching them on the big screen. Seeing it that way forces me to laugh at myself, and to be thankful that the moment wasn’t actually caught on camera!
I’ve experienced plenty of embarrassing moments:
- Right after tripping and almost falling off the stage during a play, I ran into the dressing room to do a quick change, thinking there were only other women in there. Nope. I accidentally flashed my crush. He was fixing a light bulb, which conveniently illuminated his bright red face after seeing me sans shirt.
- On a first date, a guy made me laugh so hard while I was drinking soda that it came out of my nose. Luckily, we both laughed about how gross it was.
- I tripped and fell down a huge flight of stairs at a movie theater in front of tons of people.
I’d like to say that last one was a long time ago, but it honestly wasn’t. What can I say? The K in Kara is clearly also meant for the K in Klutz. But at least I can laughingly relive these moments now. I could share more, but I think you get the idea.
To get over this, you need to pull this friend of yours aside and tell her how much it bothers you that she told your other friends and your crush after saying she wouldn’t. She’s breaking trust and rehashing something that you’re trying to get past and that’s not okay. If she apologizes and that’s the end of it, great. If she still continues to be an annoying gossip girl, she’s probably trying to get a rise out of you because she sees how it is still affecting you. Someone who tries to keep people down in order to elevate themselves doesn’t sound like much of a friend at all. Hopefully, she’ll drop it once you confront her in a calm and direct way when the two of you are alone. But if she doesn’t, don’t waste your time. Hang out with friends who are willing to move on, and keep your head up. Every new day is filled with better moments that create another layer to build on top of that embarrassing moment.