When You’re Torn Between 2 Guys

Im torn between two guys. The first one, lets call him Heart, I like him but I don’t know if he likes me back. We sometimes text and hangout and sometimes even hook up but Im confused on what he feels towards me. Sometimes he would give hints that he likes me but sometimes he’s neutral and he doesn’t do anything. He makes me feel fluffy inside and he brings out my worst but also my best.

The second guy, lets call him Smiley, he’s like one of my best friends. I tell him almost everything. He’s literally like a brother to me but he told me he likes me. Thats when everything changed because I told him I didn’t see him like that. Since then he started ignoring me and I missed him so I talked to him. I told him I’ll give him a chance but I don’t know if I was lying just to have him back in my life again or actually meant it. He does the sweetest and nicest things for me but between all the sweetness I end up thinking about Heart.


Im so confused because I think I’m starting to like Smiley but I also like Heart. I know I should go for Smiley because he’s really nice and sweet and he wouldn’t do me wrong but he gets so boring and annoying sometimes, even my friends tell me to pick him. But with Heart things are always exciting, nothing is boring when I’m with him. I really don’t know anymore. What should I do?

 Dear Rose,
Your love triangle situation can be resolved by honestly answering one big question:

What are you looking for? It sounds like you might want to be in a relationship based on the way you are appreciating how Smiley has been treating you. He cares about you and knows you deserve that sincere affection. However, it’s okay to just want to have a good time, but if you’re looking to keep things casual I have to say nothing goes from carefree to catastrophe like a no-protection night, so make sure you’re still being safe if you and Heart are having sex.

You may have a hard time reading Heart and/or telling him how you feel. Communication is a huge part of any relationship, so if you want what you two have to grow then you need to tell him that. If you two are already physically involved then you know he is at least attracted to you, but he may like the way things are and might not want anything more. If you do want more, you need to end it before it drags on and you get more emotionally attached to him, which could lead to you getting hurt. If you ask him what the deal is with the two of you and you both decide you’re happy with your casual connection, then stop stringing along Smiley and tell him you’re involved with someone else.
Smiley sounds like a good guy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s the guy for you. Sometimes good guys are simply meant to be great friends, and maybe even help girls set standards for what type of guy she is looking for, or how she wants to be treated in a relationship. But, it isn’t fair to act interested when you’re feelings for him are lukewarm at best. It could also kill your friendship if you drag this out without telling him how you’re really feeling. If you realize that you do have strong feelings for him down the road then that’s great. If not, remember that you can’t convince yourself of chemistry. It exists or it doesn’t, and even chemistry doesn’t create a healthy relationship; it just creates exciting moments. The rest has to be built between two people.  
As for Smiley being boring and annoying at times: everyone has their moments, even Heart. I’m sure you know this but sometimes we all need to be reminded. You just happened to discover Smiley’s flaws sooner than Heart’s. Now all you have to do is decide how to go forward based more on what you want rather than who.

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